Love Yourself: Katy Wagner’s Message of Self Worth
Former Ramona resident Dr. Katy Wagner transformed a life-threatening skiing accident on Mount Hood into a calling, now helping high-achieving women regulate their nervous systems, practice self-compassion, and redefine success without burnout.
Dr. Katy Wagner, former San Diego Country Estates resident and current neuroeducation coach, empowers women and helps to turn overwhelming feelings into confidence and freedom. She helps burned-out, high-achieving women regulate their nervous systems, so success doesn’t cost them their joy.
A skiing accident in 2017 changed the path of her life. In the years preceding, she was a teacher of science and music, and went on to work in administration. A single mother, she excelled in her work but was left feeling exhausted. Her fiancé proposed during their Mount Hood vacation, and ten minutes later her life almost ended.
Wagner was skiing through a treed area, when she suddenly went over a 100-foot cliff, and stopped the fall halfway down by hanging on to tree branches. Scared and alone, she feared she would never see her fiancé and daughter again. Wagner went into fix-it mode, attempting to reach her phone with only two fingers because her neck and back were broken. After over an hour of struggling, she heard a voice within her telling her to try again and was successful, sending a voice text to her fiancé.
After over 3 hours of life-saving measures, Wagner was rescued from the cliff. Once home, she was in a great amount of pain, forced to wear a neck brace, and alone. She could no longer drive or work, her identity stripped from her. Judgment and self-criticism kept her in a cage. She learned to change her thinking and look at herself with a different perspective to be gentler with herself.
Wagner went on to earn her doctorate in neuroeducation. She works with women (and some men) who are going through transitions in life, whether it be relationship struggles, beginning parenthood, the transition of children growing up and moving away, or navigating the final chapter of their lives. She offers a 5-day nervous system reset and touches on how stress manifests within them. Using the power of self-compassion, Wagner challenges how a person think about themselves, and guides them to find their most authentic self. These in-depth healing programs vary from 9 weeks to 6 months.
Wanger teaches that self-love is not bubble baths and pedicures, but the safety of your nervous system. Many high-achieving women self-criticize and think that is what makes them successful, but neuroscience proves the opposite. Negative talk threatens the brain when chemicals are released, raising cortisol levels (the stress hormone). The body tightens and leads to burnout, anxiety, and health issues. Studies have shown that chronic stress causes chemicals to leak out of the brain, resulting in depression, Alzheimer Disease, and schizophrenia.
Wagner tells clients that self-compassion activates parasympathetic activity. When we learn to speak to ourselves nicely, the nervous system starts to settle, making thinking clearer. The key is to set healthy boundaries, such as blocking out recovery time in your calendar or ending the work day at a specific time, if your schedule allows. Aligning boundaries reduces resentment and improves leadership.
She offers three tips to start to shift in thinking that will impact the quality of your life. First, replace your inner critic with an inner coach. If someone I loved was going through this, what would I say to them? Second, practice micro moments. Place one hand on your heart and one on your belly and name the emotion you are feeling without judgment. “I feel really sad. This is hard and I am allowed to feel it.” This will in turn make you feel heard and validated. Third, set one boundary as an act of self-respect. If you say no to someone, say it without overexplaining; say no without justifying the reason.
“…I rode my bike through the abandoned Humiston Ranch to get to the Village Store, rode horses at Rainbow Ranch, and went to James Dukes,” Wagner reminisces. Wagner grew up in the San Diego Country Estates, and her mother, Karen Wagner, is still living in the house they built in 1987. Wagner graduated from Ramona High School in 1996 and lives in Oregon. Her class is planning its 30-year reunion this summer and she plans to attend.
Dr. Katy Wagner can be found on Facebook and reached at Heal@irispathway.com or at 503-987-0345. “Prioritize yourself, love yourself.”
